IV: Secrets

I wake before the sun and hold still, looking around the room. Dee and Annabelle are still asleep, the lights in the hallway are off. I slide out from beneath the covers and slip across the room. The door silently swings open. I tiptoe into the hallway and look right down the hallway toward the living room; no lights. I turn left and walk to the room at the end of the hallway, to Michael’s room.

Twenty minutes later, I’m dressed in a yellow string bikini and I’m slipping out the back door with Michael. We make our way across the road, hand in hand, to the deck surrounding the pool. Five minutes later, I’m in the water, Michael’s chest against my back and arms wrapped around me. We’re talking, breathing, watching the sun.


Many things in life are difficult. At times, letting people go is one of those things. A long time ago, I learned that life is fragile. I learned this when I was four and my puppy’s leg had broken. I learned that life ends when my gerbil died that year. I learned again, several years later, when my first grade teacher died. And again, another fragile and after only a few years had passed. Again, that same year, and the year after that.

And I still don’t know how to handle it.


The water sparkles on my skin, swishes as I turn to face him. We whisper to each other, enjoying each other’s company.

Later, we go back inside, and continue to keep our secret. For years, we remain quiet.

A mistake. It wasn’t worth it.

  1. Dana Renee' says:

    Love your writing Elle! Can’t wait for your next post! (((Hugs)))

  2. Thanks Dana! It’s always great to hear from you!

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