I: Breaking Obedience

I hate the way you used to slide your finger down my cheek. I hate how your fist felt cool for a second before it split my lip open. I hate the way my head throbbed on a regular basis and how I couldn’t keep my food down because your foot would meet my gut. I hate the way you would act protective and caring when other people were around, and you’d wrap your arms around my shoulders and snuggle your lips into my head; how your hand would grip my arm while you did it and leave my skin bruised.

I hate the way I shudder and pull away from the person that I think I would be happy spending the rest of my life with, simply because he touched me. I hate that he can’t put his hand on my shoulder without me being prepared. I hate that I only hug one person, because he’s the only person I trust to touch me like any normal person would. I hate it when someone runs something down my back, because it reminds me of the horrible things you did to me from behind. I hated those stupid exacto knives.

I hate that I still think about what you did to me. I hate that you sneak into my dreams – the sound of your voice, the feel of your breath on my shoulder, the pain in my neck when you would jerk my head back by a handful of hair. I hate the feel of anything on my face, because the sting from the little chains that you used to slap me with still touch my skin. I hate what you did to me, and I hate that I let you. I hate that I was scared of you and that you were bigger than me. I hate that I let you threaten my sister and my family. I will always remember that you threatened my sister. I hate that I remember you.

~*~*~

“Where were you while I was at work last night?” Jeremy looms over me as I curl up into a smaller ball on the couch.

“Home. I was home,” I say, staring up at him. I shut the laptop, Ethan’s last message still blinking on the start menu.

“I came home for a break. You weren’t here and it was 3 in the morning,” His arms relax at his sides. That’s never a good thing, “You were with Ethan, weren’t you?”

I push myself as far into the back of the couch as I could, “We went to Sonic last night, but I don’t remember what time.”

“Then you just lied to me, didn’t you? You said you were home while I was at work, but you weren’t. You were running around all night with Ethan,” He spit out Ethan’s name as he reached down and pulled me to my feet by my right arm. I stumbled, keeping my head down.

“I couldn’t sleep, so we just went to hang out. You can ask Annabelle, she knew about it,” I hold still, because it’s a lie, and I’m a really crappy liar, but Annabelle had lied to him for me before. I breathe as softly as I can. Sometimes he would let it go if I stayed calm enough.

He shakes my arm, “You’re teaching her to be a stupid slut too, aren’t you?”

Everything is quiet for a minute, and then my body hits the wall next to the front door. I barely miss the window. He isn’t talking anymore, though. I keep my mouth shut, trying to hold in the sounds as he shoves me to my knees and slams my head against the wall. He stands in front of me, his hand on the top of my head.

“I’ll do this to your sister if you complain,” He growls, shoving his fingers into my mouth and sliding them back and forth a few times. He slides his finger down my cheek, and I hate myself.

~*~*~

I woke up in the closet of our bedroom. A rhythmic thump, thump, thump slowly registered as the back of my head lightly bumped against the wall. The corner of the closet was comfortable; my arms were wrapped around my knees and I could see anything that might come at me. Carefully, I wiped the tears away and checked my face. I only felt light bruising at my jaw, my lips cracked and dry, and my throat terribly sore.

I opened the laptop. Ethan had sent worried messages, had even stopped by and knocked on the door, but I hadn’t heard him. I assumed that Jeremy had left by then, but I wasn’t sure how long I had blacked out. I was sorry for causing concern, sorry that he’d wasted time in coming over. I told Ethan that I was okay. And, talking to him, I really was.

Comments
  1. […] HomeThe StoryPart II: The BeginningII: PrologueIII: As It HappensIV: There’s a First Time for EverythingV: “A Year Goes By…And I Can’t Talk About It.”VI: We Were the Lucky OnesVII: To Know a RegretVIII: TomorrowsIX: When The Sky RainsX: Minor CatastrophiesPart III: Breaking ObedienceThe ProjectAbout ElleContactYour StorySecretsKay FullerGrowing UpChapter 1Chapter 2Chapter 3UntitledChapter 1: BeginningJacky’s StoryChapter 1: The Beginning of It AllChapter 2: Time for ChangeChapter 3: Summer NightmareChapter 4: Why?Chapter 5: Marriage, Graduation & PregnantMichael PrincipChapter 1 […]

  2. GEO says:

    i hate this non human

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