Chapter 9: Bettina

He had the face of a retired boxer and the body of a female opera singer, only exaggerated. His breasts were pendulous, his ass was its own entity. His real name was Marcus, but he went by Bettina. He was involved in a love triangle between a Solano and a Tango.

At one point, Bettina weighed almost six hundred pounds. She had a liposuction done around the waist, legs and arms, and the ass and chest area were left alone.

She told us that she did made her living doing live feltching shows.

She had the most peculiar way of saying hello. She would sneak up behind someone and rub her ass on them, almost knocking them over. Many were the times she almost ruined a chess game because she was standing too close and turned around too quick.

“Game called, due to ass attack!” we would holler.

Since she had no money in the commissary, she would trade favors for goods. I would give her a clean uniform and two packs of ramen noodles, and she would clean and press the uniform. This was fascinating because there were no laundry facilities in the dorm. She would take the uniform, stretch the pants out on the table, and would begin rubbing bar soap on it, making it stiff. This could take up to an hour if done right. The pants were folded again, and the crease was made. An id would be painstakingly pulled hard across the fold to make the crease. They were called “Tight Whites,” the jail equivalent of a tuxedo, good for visitations and release.

The tango noticed that Bettina was not charging the Solano for the laundry services. He spied the two sitting in the same bunk talking. He stormed over, yanked the Solano out of the bunk and started cursing at him in Spanish. Bettina went to The tango, told him to stop. He pushed her away and raised his fist like he was going to hit her.

The dorm fell silent, we were all staring.

For a morbidly obese transvestite, Bettina was quick. She put her fist directly between his eyes.

She put her weight behind it.

He took three steps backward and fell with his head striking the table.

The tango was disciplined later for attacking a woman.

  1. […] 6: Saber RattlingChapter 7: The CockroachChapter 8: Cookie of the WeekChapter 9: BettinaChapter 10: Don the CrackheadPart IIChapter 11: Jack the SnitchChapter 12: […]

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